The French Fries Of Freedom

The President likes his french fries. He also likes watching  things blow up. He’s not so sure, though, he likes watching them blown up by a missile guided by three crows pecking at a screen.

I mean, what’s the use of having the biggest, reddest, most muy-macho button in the world if when you press it all that happens is someone hollers “away all crows”? But once he understands some of the response-reward principles, especially the electric shock, he turns into a big booster. You could do the same thing with babies, get them all pecking at pictures of him. Shock their little toes when their attention wanders. Imprint ‘em at birth.

A noble dream. But in the missile flying toward the enemy target, one crow fights off the shocks as he tries to remind the others of their proud heritage of sneaking, stealing, and scavenging. As free crows should.